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Can ship romance lead to a long-term love relationship on land?

Submitted by kgnadmin on

I remember the time when I started working on cruise ship and saw couples fighting between themselves. What instantly came to my mind was," How are they going to have a healthy relationship on the land if they can't have a healthy relationship on the cruise ship"?

Indeed, the truth is much more complicated. On the cruise ship, there are no bills to be paid. Couples on the cruise do not need to worry about their income, it's coming surely every 14 days, and there is no financial insecurity and survival concerns. Also, when you work on a cruise ship, you don't have to drive each other to the workplace; you don't have to take public transportation to the Gym, a barber shop, or even the bar. On the land, most things a much more complicated, especially due to the reality of life. There is an increased level of obligation to each other. Most couples on the cruise ship are on a honeymoon; they can go for a tour in the Bahamas or Cozumel, and they can sip a cocktail on the beach, but the truth is, if the relationship progresses to the next level, there is drastic change needed.

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When the couple decides to form their own family and settle down on land, the relationship becomes much more exposed and tense, with the daily real-life struggles. The unique work environment protects couples on the cruise ship. However, staying together could be very difficult even in this kind of ship-life circumstances. That is mainly because of different nationalities, different jobs between them, different lengths of contracts depending on the position, or different contract assignments. On the cruise ship, most relationships are intense and fast; things are happening fast due to the hectic ship environment. Sadly, most couples break their relationships once they try life on the land together. The normal life on the land definitely comes with much more responsibility and financial difficulties for any relationship.

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If you're on very different work schedules, it can be staying up late or waking up early to try to see them. It can be a lot of effort to see them at all. It can be even more challenging if they're on the night shift and you're on the day shift. During those times, you will basically get to spend lunch together, and that's about it. Either that or you might find yourself constantly napping to try to make up for the missed sleep of trying to see each other.

Cruise ship gossip can be vicious in the starting phase of love relationships. Some ships are worse for this than others, and others are pretty tame. On a gossipy ship, a rumor can start from something as simple as a door shutting in a hallway at an odd time or if you were seen getting out of an elevator together. If you find yourself in the chaos of cruise ship gossip, the best you can do is ignore it. When you start making googly eyes with someone, the easiest option is to try playing it cool to avoid being a rumor. Otherwise, it's like having to be "Facebook Official" after meeting for coffee once.

There are a few ways to avoid gossip and drama, all related to keeping things on the down low. You make sure you don't leave the bar together, instead using the "5-minute rule" (one person leaves, the other waits 5 minutes, and then leaves). If you want to go ashore together, you meet somewhere instead of leaving the ship together to avoid the prying eyes of the officers on the bridge and the security guards on the gangway.

Time passes differently on ships, and romantic relationships (and friendships) usually develop much faster than they do organically on land. This is due to the fast-paced and intense nature of ship life. When you start dating someone on land, typically, you might meet up with them maybe once a week or so and gradually increase that amount after a couple of months as it gradually gets a bit more serious. Moving in with someone on land might happen after at least a year of dating. Ships are very different. You don't see each other once a week. It will likely be at least once a day. Even without the added time of actually working with them, you might meet them for meals three times on the same day and then grab a drink with them after work. So things move quickly. "Moving in" with someone – into their or your cabin (whichever cabin is better) – within two weeks is completely commonplace. Just remember that you don't need things to move that fast. And you certainly don't need to start things faster than you're comfortable with.

One of the best – but also worst, when it comes to starting a new relationship – things about ships is how social they are. You won't be lonely, as often you end up on the ship being in the bar with a group, going to dinner is a family affair, and going out to port can involve little troupes of 6 or more people together. However, when you're trying to figure out if someone is more than a friend, you need to get them on their own to figure this stuff out. So ditch the posse and deliberately carve out time just the two of you, so you can learn about how you actually connect.

To know if something is going to be a real relationship rather than a fling and to evolve into a couple:

- Spend time doing things ashore together.

- Find shared interests like trying local food, hiking, sampling wine, roller-coasters, snorkeling, whatever.

- Just spend time doing something off the ship with the person, and you'll get to know them much better. If you like the same things or different things, you'll learn that you can share and teach each other about.

- Most people who work on ships are there in at least part, for the travel aspect, so experiencing new places together is a great way to bond.

Take your time when you finally decide to move to the next level and start a life together on the land. Take your time with that decision because you need to make sure that things will work well in new, much different circumstances than the ship life. You'll discover your compatibility by spending time together in the 'real world.' If you still work on ships, and you're there most of the time, you won't be really experiencing full domestic drudgery or bliss like people who live there full-time do. But you will be doing things like buying groceries, cooking together, and cleaning your toilet, which you might not have to do on the ship. So it'll bring things to a real level, and you'll find out if this is a long-term relationship.

Crew Insights

Articles and experiences shared by crew members working on cruise ship. Find out more about ship life at sea together with tips and advices for first time crew members and cruise oldtimers.

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