After eight months onboard the cruise ship, I felt tired. I was fed up with dealing with obnoxious people. Luckily, I kept myself focused and determined. My goal was to continue the learning process by immersing myself in profound leadership studies. While working on the cruise ship, I often had trouble dealing with my own emotions. Sometimes I was reactive to all non-important things and issues. 

The key is to have self-control for improvement; the most critical fragment is our emotional Intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence is such a powerful weapon. It is divided into four basic categories:

• - Understanding our feelings
• - Managing those feelings
• - Understanding other people
• - Synergy with the rest of the world 

Throughout the years, we slowly learn about our own emotions. The first learning step is to be aware of those emotions. The second step is to know how to control those emotions. It can take years or even decades to improve in that aspect of our life. After we master those two essential parts of emotional Intelligence, we can move on and show compassion and empathy to others—that's what makes all difference in this world, our personal life, or the working environment. We must first study our behavior to understand our surroundings and other people. It is an uphill battle to understand others and not to be driven by our reactions and emotions in the first place. 

Understanding others has a lot to do with active listening skills. When someone talks, we should actively engage and show that we care. That is how we gain permanent respect from all people around us. After mastering those three life-changing skills, synergy with the rest of the world comes naturally, like a cherry on top of a beautiful cake. When we learn how to identify and recognize our own emotions, learn how to deal with those emotions, and show understanding and compassion to others, we are ready to join our energy and knowledge with the rest of the world, to create a synergy for the higher good of this world.

Finally, after many years of being a cruise ship bartender, I have somehow learned how to master my self-control in overly stressful situations. Step number one in developing emotional intelligence balance is clearly understanding our own emotions. After we know how we react in those difficult and stressful circumstances, we can only improve the quality of our emotional reactions. After years of dedication to change and improvement, I realized that we could not control the events and behaviors of the people around us, yet we can and must control how we react. It's the alphabet of Emotional Intelligence, not only onboard the cruise ship but also in life. Staying calm in difficult and stressful situations is the pinnacle of our emotional existence. To show compassion and empathy to another person, we need to master our emotions. It's often a decisive factor for survival. 

For example, management forces crew members to learn and repeat the day's service values. Something like" Show care and respect at all times." It is even written on the main ship corridors, all over space. How sarcastic? Managers on board the ship are doing just the opposite. Care and respect are not part of their vocabulary. They are unable to walk the talk. 

Generally speaking, there was a specific pattern of management thinking on board the ship- if a manager terminates many crew members, he will quickly get a promotion. It was a widely adopted management approach. There was just a plastic management hierarchy, no open-door policy, and no validation for crew members' hard work.

Warrior mindest at sea

Today is a great day. Yes, it is 8 am, and yes, I am still awake, and I didn't sleep for about 48 hours, but I am truly blessed. I went to the crew mess for a quick breakfast, took some raisin toast, ate some bananas, and squeezed fresh oranges to avoid getting sick in this hectic environment. I was looking at my food while eating, and I felt thankful. Thankful to Lord Jesus, who gave me the strength and power to survive this enormous challenge. I felt happy because I made some difference here. I talked to many people and listened to their problems. It makes me feel good because I can finally sense my purpose in this world. It's the moments when it's tough that I would often squeeze and produce that best part.

While working today, my friend Made, galley steward, came to be my guest at the crew bar. Whenever I would place my dirty plates in a crew mess galley, I would tell Made to come to my bar and be my special guest. Made came today; he sat down in the corner by himself and talked to me. No matter how busy I would get in the crew bar, I would check on Made every couple of minutes and talk to him mainly about his demanding job. Besides that, I always gave him my best customer service skills and bought him some nice cocktails and snicker bars, vitamin water, and chips. And today, while I was joking with him, he told me, 

" I don't have anyone here on the ship; thank you for being my best friend. You inspire me always."

 It's hard to say how much it meant to hear that statement. It was a fantastic achievement, more important than any material thing. My legacy is to serve others.

 A few days ago, bar steward Nyoman, a very hard-working person, told me the same thing. I went to speak with the HR manager about his situation. Somehow, he is already in the seventh contract with the company and still a bar steward; no one cares about promoting him to the bar waiter position. We practiced his speech before Nyoman approached the bar manager and asked to be sent to the bar college, but after we practiced a few times together, he was still rejected by the bar manager when he went to the bar office. 

Instead of showing support for Nyoman's future in the company, the bar manager told him that, unfortunately, all positions are locked at the moment due to having extra people in our department. When Nyoman returned and told me I was unhappy with the outcome, I spoke with the HR department. I have explained to the HR manager that it is unfair for Nyoman to be stuck in the same position for years and not get a chance to progress because the company needs help finding an appropriate replacement for such a difficult bar steward role. And finally, after intense work, one of the HR people told me that Nyoman had been scheduled for the talent plus test and would soon be promoted to the bar waiter position. I would often pay him extra for the hard work that he does to help in the crew bar, and he is always so thankful for that, but when I told him the big news that he is going to be promoted soon and that he is already on the CTC list for talent plus test, he started to cry in front of me. But those were the tears of joy. He told me he would never forget what I did for him and his family. 

Things like this are the most valuable assets of my life. My true legacy in this world is inspiring other people to become the best of their abilities. Small gestures are made with the heart. 

Yes, it makes a difference!